Like sands through the hourglass…

Remember that? It was the opening for the soap opera, “Days of Our Lives”, which ironically started the year I was born. My mom watched it for years and I did too for awhile. I used to joke I’d scheduled my college classes in such a way as to always be in my dorm room during that crucial hour. Maybe I wasn't joking.

Today that phrase has a different meaning to me.  It may be cliché to talk about the passage of time. We toss around phrases like, “don’t blink or you’ll miss it!” so easily. But this time it’s happening to me, and it doesn’t sound so cliché.

My daughter Natalie leaves for college in three days. Three. Days. And while it doesn’t literally feel like yesterday since she started kindergarten, it sure doesn’t seem like it was 13 years ago either. In those intervening years there has been OCD, Harry Potter, Twilight, midnight movies, midnight book sales, video making, blogging (her first, then spurring me on), tears, and laughter. Lots of laughter.

My husband is often the one on the edges of all these ups and downs. Well, sometimes he’s right in the middle of them too. But more often, he’s given me the gift of acknowledging that I need time with her before she heads off for the next adventure in her life: college. I’m thankful for that.

My best friend has been checking in on me the past few months, seeing if I’m okay with the transition that’s about to come. I have been, though I've caught myself getting a little nostalgic recently. I think I started planning for it emotionally about a year ago. I wrote a post then called Bittersweet, about Natalie starting her senior year of high school. And I truly am excited for her and all that’s she’s about to embark on. She’s come upon her independence in steps, and it feels very right for her to be going out and getting started with school and a career, maybe as a writer, maybe in film, maybe in something she doesn’t yet know is out there for her.

I don’t know exactly what the next few months or years hold. Do you? If you do, don’t tell me! I’m kind of excited for the mystery of it. I may write more (fairly likely). I may cook more (probably not). My husband and I may develop new routines, doing more things together. Natalie may call or text me regularly or she may just catch me up now and again. I’ll let her set that pace.

As for me, I’m taking these three days as they come. I decided not to try to fill them with things we “must do” before she leaves. That feels too final. Yes, we had lunch at Nordstrom’s recently that kind of felt like a “last one before you go” kind of thing. And Thursday night I agreed to one “last” midnight movie opening. But I don’t want to think of things as “lasts”. That sounds final and sad which is not how I feel.

So let the sand slip through the hourglass; it will do so whether I watch it or not.  I’m taking it one grain at a time. And as we know…like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.